I've been working on an article about some of the themes that are in DTTS, specifically - mothering. It's been playing on my mind a lot, lately, how and by what measures mothers are judged. In DTTS, there are two very different mothers, biological and non-biological, with different motivations. I tried very hard not to pass judgement on them, but I'm not sure if I quite struck that balance. Sometimes, my own baggage just crowds on in when I'm writing and won't budge, no matter how hard I shove it.
I give myself a pretty hard time as a mum sometimes, especially in the times when I'm not enjoying being a mum. I tend to only do things that I'm good at, and avoid things that I have no aptitude for, but you don't get that choice with parenting. You just have to do it, and be shit sometimes and be excellent other times and be fun and nag and recoil at the sound of your own voice harping on and then marvel at your capacity to love and come back with more love, when they are nagging and harping on at you.
It's a strange gig, parenting. Today, I told my son that I wrote a story called Deeper than the Sea, and he asked if it had sharks in it. I told him it did, in a way. But no pictures. He was unimpressed.
Thanks to everyone who has forgiven me for the lack of pictures in DTTS, and for any heavy-handedness with the mothers who are in it. If they were real women, they would have their own inner dialogues that were punishing enough without the opinions of anyone else added in. Tomorrow, I'm going to be kinder.
Side note, how excellent are librarians? Librarians are champs.